what would emily post say?

A question of etiquette.

Today I went to Second Cup/Great Canadian Bagel to have a bagel and a coffee-beverage for lunch and to read my book. When I was ready to leave I decided to use the ladies room before my 25minute walk home.

The ladies room is two stalls and two sinks (pretty standard) and right as I went in, another lady followed behind me. While we were in there her cell phone rang. She answered it and began taking what seemed to be a buisness call.

Which was fine - however - I was at a loss of what to do with regards to flushing the toilet. A flushing toilet is a pretty distinctive (and not a quiet) sound which the lady on the phone probably wouldn't appreciate.

However - under no circumstances should one leave a public toilet unflushed... and I waited like 20seconds to see if she was going to ask to call the person back - but that was not the case. And I didn't really want to wait akwardly in the stall for however long the conversation took.

So I did the only thing I could - I flushed the toilet. As I was washing my hands I heard her akwardly laugh and tell the person she was on the phone with that she was in large public washroom. And though I felt a little bad for her brief moment of akwardness and potential embarassment - if you are going to take a phone call in a public washroom when you know someone else is there - what do you expect?

In conclusion - I feel confindent that under the circumstances my actions were not rude.

I also have some concerns about the pervasivness of technology in our everyday lives and its invasion into previously personal time and space... but that is the subject for another day.

Monkeys and Mexico!

Okay.

so as some of you probably know I spent the week before last in the Mayan Riveria (Playa del Carmen) which is like 45minutes South of Cancun. It was gorgeous - and also quality family time (my sister wasn't so impressed as family time for us involves everyone else waking up at 8:00am and my mother trying to convince her to join the family - which apparently wasn't her idea of an ideal wake-up time for a relaxing beach vacation).

In any case - the hightlight of the trip was definetly the monkeys. We had close encounters of the monkey kind with both spider and howler monkeys. The former courtesy of two gentleman in the town who had two trained (?) spider monkeys and they sit on your shoulders/head/hand while you take pictures with them (for a small fee of course). This was super cool - even when the monkeys would get bored of being on your shoulder and try to climb onto your head - which can be a little bit disconcerting. Although it wasn't so bad - the couple who had their pictures taken with the monkeys after me and my sister experienced the extra fun of the one monkey taking off the guys glasses and with the coursosity of a small child seeing how far around he could twist the two sides away from each other.

The second type - the howler monkeys - lived in the resort (around the resort) and we got to see them in trees and on rooftops a couple times. There are signs everywhere saying "don't feed monkeys" but some people took the iniative to completely disregard the sign and throw the monkeys food (not good people... not good). Anyways - they were really cool - more so because they were wild - and they howled!!

So yes. That is my trip to Mexico in monkeys.

leaving.

My taxi is coming in 25minutes or so.

And I am suddenly super-sad to be leaving. It is so gorgeous here. The weather is perfect. I could go sit on the beach everyday for the next two months. But no. I am going to a major urban centre - with its sketchy air quality and lack of serious coffee. Seriously - the girl who I love at Serious Coffee made a "going away present" latte this morning. And I'm leaving all this?

Though I am greatly looking forward to holidays and visitors over the next two months.

Also - this morning - for maybe the first time ever - I got dressed up for my flight. And in this case I am defining "dressed-up" as a sweater over my jeans and t-shirt instead of a sweatshirt.

Okay - I should proably be getting ready to leave. Though I am ready. Except that I did not clean the floors. And they are not looking so clean. Oh well. Before I know it I will be back - and the floors will still be dirty - and I can clean them then.

House Quote

courtesy of John Doyle's column. Potential new life philosophy.

"Dying people lie too. Wish they'd worked less, been nicer, opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it. You don't save it for a sound bite."

perspective

Two days left in Vic.

This morning I went to serious coffee and the bread store (aka bakery).

I also talked to one of my friends on the phone.

We had an excellent conversation. It's fabulous when you are talking to someone and they are able to articulate what you are thinking and what they are thinking and just completely get it. In one of those - hey - someone else is going through what I am going through. Someone who I think is amazing and a person whose life of which I am occasionaly super-envious of, and who is freaking out about many of the same things that I am. Which makes me feel a) less irrational and b) helps give me perspective.

Maybe I will take comfort in the fact that I am living simaltanously in multiple parallel dimensions and so other mes will live alternate lives. Maybe that will take some pressure off and I can stop worrying that I am making thousands of wrong choices and just accept the fact that I will make thousands of wrong choices and go from there.

thoughts from today

today I finally submitted my paperwork for my grant - which means soon I will have money. Which is good b/c I have to pay a ridiculous amount of tution to sit in a room alone and write a thesis.

I have no orange juice. This makes me sad. Today I ordered three books online. This makes me happy. My kitchen is a mess. This makes me sad. But not suprised. I have started thinking a lot about my life lately. And what I want right now. But right now I am still too busy to think. But do I really need to think? Would it really be so bad to just keep letting stuff happen? Taking it day by day - not worrying so much about what the future holds.

There are some days when I think that I am super old and have to figure out exactly what to do with my life - have a five, ten and twenty year plan - be planning my career, marriage, first morgage etc. Other days I want to graduate then travel the world, or become a teacher (other people dream of acting on broadway - I dream of being a teacher), or adopt a baby girl, or work on a development project in Africa or Latin America. What I really want are answers - even though I get that such ansewrs are not to be found externally. But if anyone has any anwsers I'd love to know!

Recap.

Fabulous 36hrs.

The Reef
Remo
Donald Trump
Wine
90210
Kale
Secrets
Thrift Stores
Beads
Sunshine

a tale of two cities II

During a recent visit to Victoria, I decided to go for a run along the seawall. It was an insanely gorgeous day, all blazing blue sky, clear light and soothing waves -- the kind of day that winds up and punches you in the gut for living in Toronto, or anywhere else in the world, really, except Victoria.

-Leah McLaren/Saturday's Globe.

Race Against Time

At the moment I am reading Race Against Time by Stephen Lewis. This is an excellent book. If you have not read it, you should immidiately get yourself to a bookstore and purchase this book.

It is a collection of the 2005 Massey Lectures which he delivered across canada, broadcast on the CBC. It is excellent, both as an introduction and an exposition on the global outrage that is the HIV/AIDS pandemic in Sub-Saharan Africa as well as providing excellent and insightful commentary on the United Nations, IMF & World Bank, International Development, International Response, African Governance, Education, Food, Poverty and the like.

As a disclaimer - I have only read the first three lectures out of five - but I am expecting that the quality will be continue to be excellent and it is one of the those books (which me) is difficult to put down. I don't have a hero (though clearly I have an enormous amount of respect/admiration for my parents and grandparents etc.) but I don't have an external hero. However. If one was going to choose a hero - he would be an excellent candidate.

in case you're keeping track - that's an MSc and an MD

"he's a sexologist-gynocologist!!"
-j.l.

variety of random thoughts.

Calgary has a power play and the commentators are discussing hotel accomodation in small-town Canada?

T. is coming tomorrow. The amount of cleaning/tidying organzing I have to do btw. now and then is... well... a lot.

television commericals get songs stuck in my head. which I guess is the point - but I am not exactly in the market for Viagara or a Capital One card (though more the latter than the former).

I wish I had a cordless phone. Why do they make the Calgary game goal/no goal call in Toronto? I will have to ask.

britney and children.

okay.

so the rumours are true. britney spears is pregnant. again. with k-feds baby. again.

however - this post is not about, what is rapidly becomming, my unhealthy obsession with celebrity gossip.

when I read the news I felt bad for britney. apparently she is unhappily married, and was going to file for divorce when she realized she was pregnant - hence the now trying to work on the marriage (and for the record - clearly marriage is work and something to be given up - though there are instances where the situation could become intolerable - I clearly do not know enough about their marriage to offer an opinion on that).

but I digress. my point is that there are thousands/tens of thousands of children born every year in North America where the pregnancy was unplanned (i hesitate to use the word unwanted - because unplanned certainly does not mean unwanted). And yet - here I am - having sympathy for someone with the financial resources to have access to: proper medical care, a nutrionist, professional childcare givers, therapy, birth control etc.

instead my thoughts should be on the millions of young women in the united states and canada who do not have access to these things. access to proper pre-natal care, post-natal mental health outreach, qualified daycare providers - and don't get me started on the lack of access to (and information about) birth control. (not knowing about condom usage will not stop kids from having sex; it will, however, mean that they will not use condoms when they do so).

Women/girls who for lack of economic and educational opportunites have such limited opportunites generally. I can only imagine what a gift motherhood must be - but I feel for all those mothers out there who cannot afford proper medical care for their children, who have to work 60hours a week to support their children without having qualified subsidized daycare to help look after their children. Balancing the need to provide for their child with the need to be there for their child.

Britney Spears may have problems - but hers are not the problems we should be focusing on or thinking about.

hockey! (wait, what hockey?)

At the end of the first period it is tied 1-1.

But it's okay. there is no way the Ducks can win. The ONLY way they could win would be if Charlie Conway came back. However - since he is a fictional character that seems very unlikely.

Go Flames Go!!

lyrics (abridged)

There was the stage, two red lights and a dodgy P.A.
You trod the planks way back then
And it's strange that you're here again, here again

And I wish I, wish I knew the right words
To make you feel better, walk out of this place
and Defeat them in your secret battle
Show them you can be your own man again

Don't, don't explain
Lots of little victories take on the pain
It takes so long to earn
You can double up or you can burn, you can burn

And I wish I, wish I knew the right words
To blow up the pokies and drag them away
'Cause they're taking the food off your table
So they can say that the trains run on time

cultural reference points

M.C. Hammer - 2 Legit 2 Quit - 1991

Ace of Base - The Sign - 1993

(in)dependence

life is about finding a balance between independence and dependence.

I think that it would be easier to be happy being completely independent than completely dependent - however - in order to be truly happy you need a balance of the two.

which is why you (general you and you-you) love your independence and love going home to see your family.

I feel that I am more independent than many people I know in many ways - and less independent than many people I know in many ways. And I am fairly happy with the balance I have achieved.

That being said - I would like to be more adventurous than I am - which will require a greater independence than I currently have. The problem with adventures is that ideally I could adventure with someone - in a nice independence/dependence balance.

I want to be rich and married and have adventures. And save the world. Is that too much to ask?

ya think?

Vatican - Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini, 79, retired archbishop of Milan and one-time papal contender said in comments published yesterday that condoms are the "lesser evil" in combatting the spread of AIDS, the latest senior churchman to diverge from the Vatican's opposition to birth control and artificial contraception.
AP

Coronation Street

Tim: what time do you get off work?
Sean: half eleven, quarter to twleve.
Tim: do you want to do something then?
Sean: how about you come back to mine for some coffee?
Tim: Is coffee a euphemsim?
Sean: One second?[Whispering to Violet] What's a euphemism?
Violet: [Whispers something back]
Sean (to Tim): Yes, coffee is definetely a euphemism.

two thoughts for the day.

"because pretending that you know things is much worse that not knowing anything. the only thing worse then that is just not caring about knowing anything. i want to learn things, and if i dont know, then i'll ask, so if i ask you, its not cause i'm testing you, its cause i want to know, i'm interested."

-aes.

T. said that you want to support people who are trying to be better people, even if it's frustrating - and that you get frustrated with people who can be better people than they are, who and choose not to be. To that I will add that you feel so unbelievably lucky when there are people who you already think the world of, and who still constantly manage to impress and surprise and inspire you. Those are the people who you must always refuse to let go of.

more leonard cohen

For Anne

With Annie gone,
whose eyes to compare
with the morning sun?

Not that I did compare,
But I do compare
Now that she's gone.