Sunday, July 23, 2006

daydream believer

Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings.
The six o'clock alarm would never ring.
But it rings and I rise,
Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.
My shavin' razor's cold and it stings.

Cheer up, Sleepy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen.

You once thought of me
As a white knight on a steed.
Now you know how happy I can be.
Oh, and our good times start and end
Without dollar one to spend.
But how much, baby, do we really need.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

on happiness

today I learned what is responsible for our happiness.

50% is our set line (i.e. what you are born with), 10% is life circumstances (wealth, where you live, job, etc.) and 40% is up to you. So it's in your control if you choose how happy you choose to be with that 40%. Now I don't really know how encouraging I find this. I mean - wouldn't it suck if you were born with a low "set line" because there is nothing you could do. So if you had a high set line you have the potential to be 100% happy. But if you are born with a lower set line, all you would ever be able to achieve was 70% happiness. And what if you love someone, a partner, friend, child who has a low set point. Imagine loving someone who doesn't have the potential to be as happy as you. That seems a little bit depressing to me. Now - who knows how accurate this is, or how people can know something like that (source montioring note: W5) - but I think that there is some truth to it. How often have you heard someone refer to a person, or a child, who is just a happy person, child etc. There are people who are justs predisposed to happiness.

And there are people who go to Jacob and find out that everything in the store is 30% this week and who use that to maximize that other 40%.

Friday, July 21, 2006

things that bother me

1) that it is 30 degrees in Victoria. If I wanted weather that hot I wouldn't have left Toronto.
2) that is is going to be 30 degrees next week when I am in Calgary.
3) that I am going to have to be friendly and charming next week when I am Calgary and leave a good impression on people in 30 degree heat.
4) that I am going to have to do schoolwork when I am in Calgary.
5) that I my Birkenstocks refuse to be broken in.
6) that everytime I go outside in sandals my feet somehow end up getting dirty
7) that ice cream is not dinner.
7.5) which wouldn't be such a problem if ice cream was good for you in the nutritional way
8) that last week I bought the most amazing apple, cinamon, raisin bread - but that the bakery is not going to make it again until fall because it isn't selling well in the heat.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


i just successfully googled my blog!

(also - when I googled my blog KM's also came up as linking to mine).

(also - who goes to hoppin' eddies? seriously. i always wondered).

Lebanon and human responsbility more generally

I've been thinking a lot about the middle east of late - what with everything that has happened and I have some thoughts on Canada's response.

1) Mr. Harper is wrong, and so far Isreal's response has not "measured". As a Canadian I have more sympathy for Isreal than many other people (Europeans) but c'mon... measured?! Apparently his rhetoric shifted yesterday which I think was a political inevitability.

2) The Canadian governnment is doing a shockingly bad job of evacuating Canadian citizens from Lebanon. Thousands of people showing up to board a ship that could only a few hundred? fistfights breaking out? I obviously have no idea what is involved logistically with evacuating thousands of Canadians, but that is why I alone am not the government of Canada. As someone who think Beruit would be an awesome place to visit I can only imagine myself being there and my absolute sense of entitlement for my government to help me leave in the event of a war.

As well, I think this is an important/interesting example for all of us who imagine that we as a species or as individuals are reasonable or rational or have this amazing ability to always do the right thing. We cannot even maintain our civility trying to escape what is only a moderately unstable situation. This is not directly related, but I always wonder what I would have done had I been 15 or 20 or 25 (etc) able bodied person in Nazi Germany. In some of my reading on just war theory it is obvious that those who do nothing are still morally culpable, and honestly, I don't believe that I would be either a hero or a sympathizer, just a regular person who is still morally culapable. There is this phenomeon of children born to French woman by German soilders during the war who are forgotten/shunned because they do not fit with how France chooses to remember themselves in the second world war. Would I have been in the resitance? would I have been in the bed of a German soilder?

I think the thing with these questions is that you can never really know until you are in that situation - and I think the other thing is that tell yourself there will never be any more situations like that. But it's not true. Look at soilders in Vietnam, Somalia, Iraq. Our standards of humanity are not nearly what I like to imagine they are before I go to sleep at night. Every night I fall asleep thinking that I am fundamentally a good person, content in the knowledge that I am only passively culpalable and not actively culpable in the horrors of the 21st century. Right now, an entire subcontinent is dying of a communicable disease which is slowly making its way into India, Russia, and SEAsia. It's a genocide of indifference that we are all implacated in. As we push and scream and claw our way onto boats to return to Canada to escape the harsh realities of most of the world.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

on blogging.

my mother knows that I have a blog - and this fact makes her very uncomfortable - the idea that strangers "anyone!" can read things about me. She constantly asks if I post "personal" things about myself, and though all my thoughts are personal, rarely to I post personal, real-life stories.

In the past week, the authors of three seperate blogs which I frequent (one written by someone I know but don't really talk to anymore and two by people I have never met) have experienced signifcant trauma. One had a miscarriage, one suffered a sexual assult (or possibly a rape), and one a betrayl and the end of a hugely significant relationship (or at least this is what I have gathered from the three, keeping in mind the indirect nature of blogging)

It's the strangest feeling to want to reach out and hug somebody you don't even know, or haven't seen in forever, and yet really it's just a manifestation of the human condition. Especially with regard to the three things which I mentioned, which I would not wish on any woman.

through blogging and the internet we are offered a small window into the lives of those we know and those we don't - and often times we see more, or at least differently, than we would through more traditional windows. I wish everyone I knew kept a blog (and not just so I would have more ways to kill time) but because they provide these unique snapshots of both individual personalities and general humanity. Through both the observation of everyday life, and perhaps more so, through the experience of the moments that will shape a life as they unfold in real time.

good things in my life (bad things omitted)

Good Things.

1) Canadian Idol
2) making my very own red wine risotto
3) my fabulous new sheets
4) the fact that my apartment is cleaner than it has been in months (with the exception of all of d's stuff)
5) that I am having dinner with sarah tomorrow night
6) that other sarah is coming to visit in a 6 weeks
7) that when I ran into M today he was genuinely happy to see me
8) that I refered to my landlords as Mitch and Gail (which are not their names, but which are the names of Dawson Leery's parents who apparently I am confusing with real people)

Monday, July 10, 2006

a letter to the editor (or blurring the boundaries of information mediums)

from The Independent, 8th July 2006, obviously used without permission.

A brief Guide to Foreign Policy

Sir: Just so everyone is clear: it is "bad" for North Korea to fire missiles into the open sea, even though it is "really-not-that-bad" for Israel to fire missiles into power stations, bridges, and apartment blocks.

Meanwhile: Iran, which had opposed Saddam (who was once "relatively good" but is now "very bad"), is still just "bad".
Saudi Arabia, a feudal totalitarian state with legalised sexual apartheid ("bad"?) is nonetheless "good", but don't ask any awkward questions.

The United Sates may now kidnap and torture innocent civilians (this was previously "bad", but is now "okay, if outsourced"). Similarly, some of our allies may, from time to time, need to boil people alive (literally, in the case of President Karimov), and
whilst not "good" it would be a crass liberal simplification to call this "bad".


Saturday, July 08, 2006

the radio

Oh the radio.

I love the radio. I get the impression that today most people reserve the radio for driving as opposed to sitting at home and just listening - since at home we have our c.d.s and mp3s etc. but i don't know... I love the surprise and unexpectedness of the radio - I love the variety and the stupid banter and traffic reports - there is something about the radio which gives one a sense of community in a way that other mediums - such as television, c.d.s and movies do not. Except I guess for Jack FM which is the Walmart of radio (though I dont feel the need to avoid it the same way I feel the need to avoid walmart). I love listening to music from the 80s, 90s, and today. I love listening to the CBC (both the talk programs and the music programs) and downloading programs from the BBC - connecting me not to my community but to other communities that could be mine. I listened to almost no radio last year - a pattern which i will not be so foolish as to repeat this year. I haven't settled on a favourite victoria station yet - not that I will need to - I have no problem switching between stations - but I am sure that I will eventually find a station which I am more attached to than most. It won't be "102.1 the edge" or "K-Rock" or BBC Radio 4, but it will be mine and I will become more a part of Victoria for it.

Friday, July 07, 2006


My first full day back in Victoria.

I am unpacked and I have the internet up andd running.

My new computer is beautiful, though it is taking a bit of time to adjust to typing on a different keyboard, and it doesn't help that my nails are a little bit longer than I am used to (and let me just say that they look beautiful as my french manicure from five days ago is still mainly intact).

Now that I am back in Victoria I will be blogging far more often (not having dial-up and living alone will do that to a person).

To celebrate being back in Victoria I went to the Beach and to Victoria's folkfest and tomorrow I am going to the beach again and buy a cinamon bun and a London Fog (though I will probably go to Starbucks and not Serious Coffee because my dad gave me a starbucks gift card that someone gave him and I am spending lots of money on food this week (because I have no food at home and I have to start all over again). Okay. Those are all my thoughts for now. As I think about this post it occurs to me that less posting might actually be better in terms of quality and not quantity but oh well. I can amuse myself and no one else has to read them.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

posting, just for the sake of.

I am not fond of posting for the sake of posting - probably because when I am at school I post constantly so it is never an issue - however - I feel as though my blog is sad and feeling neglected by me, so I thought I would post in the knowledge that I have no point, unlike usual, where I have a point which gets lost somewhere along the way.

Let's talk about people. There are some people who you expect a lot from and who meet those expectations and some people who you do not expect a lot from and who exceed those expectations. However, this isn't really fair to the people who you had high expectations of to begin with - because really usually you will just be let down with anything short of perfection. Which I try to keep in mind, especially when I think of all the times I could have been more "there" for someone, or at some time etc. But then again, in the prodigal son story I always felt sorta bad for the good son.

Last night my family went out for fabulous Indian food for dinner - however - we missed the top nine women on Canadian Idol. However - in the end, I think it was worth it :)