theory and practice

Today while walking home from the bus I had a lovely thought. Now I am sure that I did not come up with this independently, but it just sort of came to me and clicked tonight. So I have a new life motto to add to my collection of life mottoes.

Take care of today and tomorrow will take care of itself.

seriously?

I just heard someone on t.v. refer to attending the westminister dog show as being successful in their "sport"

a dog show?

seriously?

a sport?

that makes ice dancing look like a triathalon.

so apparently I am ignorant

Monday is my day off (in addition to Saturday and Sunday) and so I usually go out in the morning to do schoolwork and then come home around lunchtime to have lunch. Well today, at 1pm, as I was having lunch, I was watching "Engaged and Underaged" on MTV. The first time I saw this show was last Monday at 1pm, and I am now hooked. (Go ahead, judge me, i am already judging myself).

In any case - the 19 year old fiancee was upset that her fiance's mother did not like her. So when the guy says "you and my mom just have different personalities" his finacee says "well that's just ignorant. If you don't like someone because of their personality than you're just ignorant".

Now - I obviously can't speak for everyone - but for me, I actually find the primary reason that I like or dislike someone is because of their personality. Now - if I meet someone new I might try to focus aspects of their personality that I like rather than aspects of their personality that I don't - but in the end, it does come down to personality.

There could be a highly moral and good person who just happens to have a caustic or annoying or boring personality. And I might respect that person and hold them in high esteem, but if I don't like their personality, I probably don't like them.

So I'm not exactly sure what criteria this particular young woman was using to decide when and why one should be liked. And if it's not personality, I'm not exactly what it is. And so apparently, I must be ignorant.

the city

I don't have a favourite city. I like many different cities for many different reasons, but one my favourite cities is Toronto.

Since I have been back, every time I go somewhere new or do something fun I think how great Toronto is and how much I want to share what is fabulous about Toronto with everyone I know (including people who live in Toronto). And even though there is so much of Toronto that I don't know, and even though I still get very confused about where Bathurst Street is downtown, I love being in the city and feeling like a part of the city. I feel this way about Victoria, but to a lesser extent, because though I occasionaly discover new things/parts of Victoria, size dictates that there is only so much to explore. I still need to get out more, and actively embrace more of the city, but I like knowing that the city is out there. waiting for me.

language

I think that the language we use can sometimes say a lot about a person. And other times very little. I definetly say "like" to much and don't know as many big words as I would like, and sometimes I say things that surprise me. I will present two cases to illustrate.

1) In a bar in Halifax Alex and I were talking to a random 40something year old man who was attempting to make our acquaintance. He was talking to us about "Bubbles" of "The Trailor Park Boys" fame and he inquired as to whether or not we were familliar with the Trailor Park Boys. I replied that I had never seen the show but was familiar with them as a "cultural phenomenon". Apparently this phrase, which works very well in a classroom setting, causes random people in bars to look at you like you are crazy.

2) Yesterday I was walking in downtown Toronto with Alexandra. We were talking about something about which I was getting somewhat worked up about, and this caused me to exclaim "geez louise!". This was apparently humourous to a random woman who was riding by on her bicycle who shouted "hey geez louise!", as though to point out her appreciation/scorn of my use of that phrase.

I have no real point, just that I am a 23 year old woman who uses phrases like cultural phenonomenon and geez louise, apparently to the amusemnet/chagrin of those around me.

last little while

who wears short shorts? me apparently. not on purpose I assure you.

I love martinis.

last weeks I drank three nights in row (note: not like in college - I just had one-two drinks - but still - this is highly irregular for me)

dulche de leche (sp?) = yum. However only in tall. grande is too much.

packing = fear

spending summer living with parents without a place of my own = potential nervous breakdown. I love my parents and we get along super well. but the summer? and maybe beyond? I have been home for the summer before. But man. man!!

I heart Iris Murdoch.

I am going to buy Craig Ferguson's book for my plane ride and sojurn in Calgary.

I love having flowers in my apartment. And I am sad to be leaving my apartment.

I giggle too much and at inappropriate times.

A few days ago I woke up from a dream, laughing, I was laughing so much in my dream I woke myself up. I only wish I remember what it was about.

I have had one flying dream in my life. I (irrationaly) envy those who have flying dreams.

Grotty is a word.

Sleep makes me happy.

Children of men is a good movie. But it wasn't fabulous. I am considering reading the book.

Today it was not nice weather wise. That made me sad. It has been super nice these past couple of days. Please come back sun. Please come back.

inspiredbyinspiredbydooce.blogspot.com

I lead a rather simple life. I do similar things everyday. Sometimes I watch television when I could be reading a book. Sometimes I would rather go to Starbucks than the beach. Somedays when I am napping I let my machine pick up my calls.

One of my most acomplished friends is currently spending 6 months travelling and volunteering in South America. She went by herself. She is planning her journey as she finds it. She is creating enough memories to last other people several lifetimes. At first I thought I was jealous of her, and of her adventure. But I am not. I am inspired by it. I know me. I know I could spend a month in Europe travelling by myself. I also know that (right now) I could not spend six months in South America, by myself, without an iterniary. So I look at her amazing life and say - that is not my ultimate expression of me.

I have another friend - lived all over the world - gone to university in three countries for two degrees and worked in Switzerland for the UN. She speaks at least three languages fluently and I think three others passably. She has more life and energy in her than almost anyone I have ever met. She also has the most intense fear of emotional-romantic intamacy of anyone I have ever met (she knows this). Her life suits her, it allows her to push herself in all the ways which she wants, and to excel, and to be her ultimate expression of herself.

So why these stories? (and trust me, I have some pretty amazing friends, I could go on). Because these are woman whose adventures, but more importantly, whose spirits I admire. I was (for a long time) pushing myself to be the very best I could be - and I recently realized that how I saw myself, was not, in fact, how I was. I knew what my reflection looked like, so I never stopped to see if maybe it had changed. And it had.

Now I am in the very fortunate and deeply petrifying position of being at a crossroads - and I am completely okay with it (or so I tell myself). I can now decide who I want to make myself. How I think I can be the best, most true me possible. This is not a question that needs to be answered overnight, or a question with only one answer, or a question with a permanent answer. I can be an international aid worker, or a mother, or a flight attendant, or a nurse, or a teacher, or a writer, or a pet groomer. The world is full of extraordinary people living ordinary lives (and also ordinary people living extradorinary lives, which is an integral part of my theory of North American humanity, but is for another post). And I think that as long as I am an extraordinary person living an ordinary life I will be happy. I will strive, in my life, to never be ordinary. Or complacent. Or boring. Or bored. And though at different points I will be all those things, I will never be trapped in any of them. I will strive to become the best me I can be.

**Pleased by advised that the author is available to address your group or organization with inspirational, psycho-babble, b*llsh*t for a speaking fee of $100/hr. Quality assured as she is still innocent and optimistic enough to believe what she says.

foibles of the english langugage

Right now I am at serious coffee.

I order, put my stuff down at a table at the front, and the go to the end of the bar to wait for my drink. After 3 or 4 minutes the girl looks at me and is like "sorry, I put your coffee up here (at the front till)" so I reply with, "oh, it's okay, it's my fault for not looking better".

Which, as far as I am concerned, a perfectly acceptable sentence, except that it really sounds like I am saying "it's my fault for not being better dressed" or something.

Anyways... that's all. Maybe I will post something actually interesting later.

violet

I think that if I could look like anyone (besides me) I would want to look like the girl who plays Violet on Coronation Street. I realize that no one who reads this probably knows who that is - but I think that she is super pretty.

google

i just successfully googled my blog!

(also - when I googled my blog KM's also came up as linking to mine).

(also - who goes to hoppin' eddies? seriously. i always wondered).

the radio

Oh the radio.

I love the radio. I get the impression that today most people reserve the radio for driving as opposed to sitting at home and just listening - since at home we have our c.d.s and mp3s etc. but i don't know... I love the surprise and unexpectedness of the radio - I love the variety and the stupid banter and traffic reports - there is something about the radio which gives one a sense of community in a way that other mediums - such as television, c.d.s and movies do not. Except I guess for Jack FM which is the Walmart of radio (though I dont feel the need to avoid it the same way I feel the need to avoid walmart). I love listening to music from the 80s, 90s, and today. I love listening to the CBC (both the talk programs and the music programs) and downloading programs from the BBC - connecting me not to my community but to other communities that could be mine. I listened to almost no radio last year - a pattern which i will not be so foolish as to repeat this year. I haven't settled on a favourite victoria station yet - not that I will need to - I have no problem switching between stations - but I am sure that I will eventually find a station which I am more attached to than most. It won't be "102.1 the edge" or "K-Rock" or BBC Radio 4, but it will be mine and I will become more a part of Victoria for it.