2nd and 3rd points.

Part II - Saying nice things.

Saying nice things is important. I try to say nice things to people as much as I can. A simple thing can make somone's day. When someone tells me they like my glasses - it always makes me happy. When I had a student email me to tell me that they really enjoyed my tutorial - that made me happier than I could have imagined - when one of my friends tells me that they love me - even though I already know - it makes me feel special to hear it. Making conversation with people in shops - just to be pleasant - makes me happy. Even when my parents - who are obligated by parent-law to think highly of me say nice things - it makes me happy. When AH says "congratulations again, that's really great" two days later - that makes me happy. When I tell someone I like their pants, or how their hair looks, or how they look really good in their sunglasses - it makes me happy to be able to say it - and I imagine that it makes them happy to hear it.

Part III - Saying I love you.

I watched a movie on Friday where one of the characters said that he had an ex-girlfriend who thought saying "I love you" lost its specialness through overuse. Well I think that's just silly. What a wonderful thing to be able to say to someone - or to be able to hear from someone - I have friends whose parents rarely I love you - and I am glad that my parents are not like that - parents, friends, partners, children, anyone who is special enough for someone to love should be told it again and again - not because they doubt it - but because it affirms something about us that is so fundamently human. S. used to tell me she loved me every night and it was wonderful. I don't tell my friends enough - but I try to tell them. That being said - I would never say it if I didn't mean it - what seems to be a kind, or flippant remark in the short term - those words have a tremendous amount of power - and should be used accordingly.