when a relationship is like an ill-fated moon landing starring Tom Hanks

I think this is a super interesting description of how to make a relationship work.

"It's about taking what you have, and, instead of trying to change it, finding a happy way to live with it. The movie image that just flashed into my head is in "Apollo 13," when the earthbound scientists stand at a table full of stuff representing everything the astronauts have available to them in the capsule. Their job is to rig something from those materials alone.

Being part of a couple is the same way--you both bring certain things to the relationship, and that's what you have to work with. Either you can rig something with it or you can't."

-Carolyn Hax

What's Goin' On...

1) My oldest friend (who I am no longer friends with) is getting married! She is the first of the people I went to grade school with (that I still get info about) to get married. I want to say "she is so young!" but she is not. She's not old. But engaged at 23, married at 24 is not too young.

2) The majority of people who wrote the midterm for the class I TA for did badly. So then I feel really badly - even though it is in no way my fault. If I was ever a teacher I would want everyone to do really well on everythig. which of course is not very practical. except for the kids that do not care at all about the class or about me or about doing well. In that case I still hope they do well, but I do not feel guilty if they don't.

3) The other day I was out shopping and the woman in the store pointed out a shirt to me that was made of soy. "Have you ever worn soy before?" she asked me. To which I replied in the negative - and sadly I also did not buy the shirt so I have still never worn soy. How 2004!

shopgirl

Earlier this week I rented the movie shopgirl, starring steve martin, claire danes and jason swartzman. I really liked it (a lot!) - and I preferred it to Lost in Translation, which seems to me to be similar in many respects.

In any case, part of the plot has Claire Danes pursued by the two male leads, and for a large part of the film she is involved in an intimate relationship with the Steve Martin character. After watching this movie, I decided that I really don't think I could be intimately invovled with someone in the their fifties (I already knew this before watching the movie, but watching the movie made me think about it some more). Even if they were very wealthy (clearly not a reason to become involved with someone, but again I digress), I think that I would just feel too far apart from them (generationaly, emotionaly etc.).

I think that I could be comfortably involved with someone who was, at the most, 9 years older than me at this point in my life. I don't know why - but that is the arbitary number that makes sense in my head. Of course, my ideal partner would be approximately 1 year, 5 months and 9 days older than me. That strikes me as just about perfect.