random thoughts

Some days I think that I know myself so well - and other days I think that I haven't a clue. Some days I think that I am excellent example of a human being and other days I think I am horrible person. I am far too judgemental - even though I am much less judgemental than I used to be.

And it is complicated because the way we understand ourselves is through comparing ourselves with others (not like "A is more judegmental than me") but just because how else do we understand ourselves except through our knowledge of others and how we relate and interact with others. There is no self without the other (Hegelian line of thinking). And so everyday I strive to better understand myself and to be a better person - and I am learning (at least I think I am) - and sometimes, someone else will be nice enough, or perceptive enough, to point something out to me that helps me to grow and to learn to become a better version of myself.

we all need a dream

my dream job would be to be just like Reverend Camdon on 7th Heaven and to go around solving the problems of everyone in my town. I am completely serious.

little miss sunshine

On Friday evening we went out for sushi and to see little miss sunshine - both of which were excellent. the sushi was fabulous and is reason alone to live on the west coast and the movie was really good and very fun. yesterday was excellent - and involved lying on the beach, coming home and accidently lying on my bed and getting sand in my clean sheets, cooking, ice cream, and flightplan. this week will involve schoolwork, getting a new desk, maybe more cooking, and preparing for sarah's arrival.

often during the week I will hear or see something funny which I think "that would make a great blog entry" and then I never get around to writing about it or I forget and then I am disappointed. At the same time - it's not like I post so infrequently that I should really be making an effort to do it more often.

Final thought - Seth won Kept and is now offically jerry hall's kept man. Had I been in Jerry's shoes I would have made the same choice.

violet

I think that if I could look like anyone (besides me) I would want to look like the girl who plays Violet on Coronation Street. I realize that no one who reads this probably knows who that is - but I think that she is super pretty.

antique cars

today was the annual blethering room tea house antique car show in oak bay. I came home from school early in order to make sure I got to go - and it was super cool. Now I know nothing about antique cars, but not a lot happens in Oak Bay so I wanted to make a special effort to check it out. I saw Model Ts and Model As and a car from 1911 and everything was original except for the clutch. Lots of old cadillacs, jags, three or four sunbeam tigers (my uncle used to have one which is the only reason I know what it is). But what most impressed me was the shear number of people who came out for it - it was crazy seeing thousands of people in Oak Bay village on what otherwise would have been a sleepy sunday afternoon.

little miss popularity

today when i got home I had three messages on my answering machine. THREE!! and only one was from my mother.

on cooking

Anyone who knows me, knows that there are many things which I cannot do, many of which I would like to be able to do.

The number one thing that I would like to do, is that I would like to be able to sing well; however, I have resigned myself to the fact that this will probably never happen.

So, the time has come to focus on thing number two: being able to cook. Note, I did not write "being able to cook well", at this point in time, I would be happy with simply being able to cook. So for the past four days I have begun to cook. I own one cook book (courtesy of alexandra) which contains these things, which I believe are called "recipes" which are very helpful when trying to cook. In the past four days I have poached fish, made a curry, and rice pilaf. Now I am still not exactly what "pilaf" means - but it sure sounds fancy. I think that part of the reason for this new interest is that I am going to need to eat for the rest of my life eating, and until I become independently wealthy, I will have to cook the majority of the food that I eat myself. And I think that the other reason is that having a partner who is an excellent (professional) chef, has sort of shamed me into learning some basic culinary skills.

Also.
1 week until D reutrns to Vic.
2 weeks until Sarah arrives in Vic.
8 months until I defend

shopgirl

Earlier this week I rented the movie shopgirl, starring steve martin, claire danes and jason swartzman. I really liked it (a lot!) - and I preferred it to Lost in Translation, which seems to me to be similar in many respects.

In any case, part of the plot has Claire Danes pursued by the two male leads, and for a large part of the film she is involved in an intimate relationship with the Steve Martin character. After watching this movie, I decided that I really don't think I could be intimately invovled with someone in the their fifties (I already knew this before watching the movie, but watching the movie made me think about it some more). Even if they were very wealthy (clearly not a reason to become involved with someone, but again I digress), I think that I would just feel too far apart from them (generationaly, emotionaly etc.).

I think that I could be comfortably involved with someone who was, at the most, 9 years older than me at this point in my life. I don't know why - but that is the arbitary number that makes sense in my head. Of course, my ideal partner would be approximately 1 year, 5 months and 9 days older than me. That strikes me as just about perfect.

life and choices

Where will I be in six years?

I don't know. And even if I suspect what might or might not be, I am going to try not to get ahead of myself and instead let my life unfold - and make choices when I need to make to choices - knowing that they will sometimes be right and sometimes be wrong and can always be revisited.

calgary-17+1

I have now officially visited my fifth Canadian province - Alberta! Land of Alberta beef, the Flames, that other team, Banff, the Badlands, and lots of other cool stuff.

1) mcnally's bookstore and amy's mom's books
2) learning the difference between "streets" and "avenues"
3) public transit aka the c-train
4) cherry pie, blueberry pie, and cheese curds
5) watching street legal and poker
6) stripey drumheller rocks
7) spinning rings which make me sad because they aren't really moving
8) small children everywhere
9) being super happily surprised by the zoo
10) amy amy amy
11) kensington
12) a surprise trip to crave
13) phantom, phantom, phantom
14) finding out kirsten's kids really are as cute as everyone thinks
15) dim sum
16) boston
17) food-poo shirt under black light
18) dmt (^3)