the simple life

why can't life be simple.

i think that i would like to be a peanuts character (charlie brown comics) or a dawson's creek character. here is my reasoning. i like drama. i like having deep philosphical converstaions about life while making intense decisions and feeling as though i'm living in some sort of existential soap oprea. however - now stuff kinda matters. it matters in a way it doesn't when you are 8 or 15. so then i was thinking. when does it start mattering less again. i mean - life can't get more important (as it were) the older it gets. i mean - at some point can't we start making bad, angst-ridden decisions again? dr. sheppard moved from new york to seattle to live in a trailor. that seems pretty dawson's creek of him. or maybe my decisions don't really matter now. maybe when you're in a place everything seems so important - but once you move on you realize that it's not. what does that mean? is everything relative? or can you look back at your life and be like "this is a time when my decisions mattered a lot" but "this was not" and why can't you know when those times are.

or is all my existential aganst my not wanting to write me paper and me being concerned with fucking up school. maybe - just maybe....